We are told by Heraclitus, that “the only thing constant in this world is change”.
But, how do we learn to accept our fate when we are constantly living with uncertainty?
Have you been single for too long and are wondering when you are going to meet your one true love? Or perhaps you are unemployed and worrying about whether you will find a job? These and many more unanswered questions can continuously arise within your mind, an endless wondering of when and how?
And before you know it, you are completely overwhelmed with the sense of worry, lost in the world of the unknown, constantly stressed, and unable to live in the present moment.
So just stop, and take a deep breath!
Firstly, it can be reassuring to know that you are not alone. Worrying about the past or feeling anxious about the future are very common concerns, whether openly discussed amongst your friends or not. But if these common questions are not addressed correctly within your own mind, they can build up, and most commonly lead to stress, which is proved to be the number one cause of almost all illnesses.
So what can we do to help ease the pressures off the mind and live a happy life?
Take a moment by yourself where you can be completely alone and then read these five healthy habits to incorporate into your lifestyle that will help you learn how to live with uncertainty.
The first step to overcoming the fear of living with uncertainty is acceptance. Have a look at the problem at hand and surrender all urges that you have to control it.
Acknowledge and accept that the outcome is beyond your control. Repeat the following words in your mind.
“I accept the change that is coming my way. I surrender all fear and control to the unknown.”
Take a deep breath. Do you feel better? Then it is time to repeat!
With every inhale and every exhale relax a little bit more and release whatever fear or stress that you are holding onto. If you still find that you are having difficulty accepting, it might help you to visualize the words or summarize the problem and use all your energy to focus on releasing it.
With every exhale tell yourself that you accept the change and that you release the problem.
The moment you learn to accept the fact that you cannot control what is coming your way, a great sense of relief washes over your body. This change of acceptance will resonate through your entire body and it will allow you the opportunity to focus on the present moment and be motivated to work with your current circumstances.
It will ultimately remind you of living in the now, which is what we all wish to obtain. And the great news is, that living in the now can happen by just releasing the need to control something and accepting change. Holding onto stress, pain and anguish are almost like your whole body is tense. By resisting this change you are not allowing yourself to live to your full potential, because you are focusing on the wrong places, and the moment you let it go . . . You will have allowed a fantastic opportunity to be presented to you.
To maintain the mind frame of living in the present, and to prevent yourself from falling back into the trap of fear, it is important to listen to yourself. On a regular basis, you should take some time to check-in and ask yourself –
If you find yourself unhappy, dig a little deeper and try and find the problem why. Once you are able to identify the cause of the problem you will be able to solve it, and prevent similar feelings from arising. When you spend time analyzing your emotions and feelings it will prevent negative self-talk where it is easy to fall back into the trap of living with the fear of uncertainty. If you are finding it difficult to listen to yourself, go and sit somewhere so you can be alone to simply observe your state of being.
Watch where your mind wanders to. Are you thinking about things that you have no control over?
Go back to step one and focus on clearing your mind and releasing the need for control. Make sure you are consciously accepting everything that is coming your way. And if you have managed to master this mind frame of acceptance and letting go, then it is time to move on to step three.
There are a lot of things in life that we cannot control, like the loss of a loved one, natural disasters, or getting a disease or illness. These kinds of situations are inevitable, simple as that. Once you learn to accept that fact, it’s easy to move on to the things that you can control.
Let’s have a look at an example: Perhaps you are unemployed? Don’t just sit and think life is unfair!
Get out there and apply for everything that you possibly can!
You want to keep your mind active and focus on your goals.
Are you unsure of your career path? Write a list of all the things that you love and absolutely everything that you are passionate about. Next, brainstorm all the possible job opportunities that you connect with those passions. Maybe you will have to start at the bottom, but you will climb up that ladder if it is something that you are good at, passionate about, and dedicated to.
If money and security is what you need, then take the job that pays well for the interim. It doesn’t have to be long-term, and it will provide a solution to the problem at hand.
Remember, when making a decision on what you can control it is also important to think both short term and long term. Figure out what would solve the problem at hand, and also what would prevent it from happening in the future. Don’t just stop at one answer, write down a few, maybe five. And then filter out that choice that feels best to you.
Once you have that plan in place, it’s time to move on to step four.
More often than not, your plans are going to change, it is a fact. And when the situation does not live up to your expectations, the only person to blame is yourself for having any expectations at all!
So how do we learn to control such disappointment? Do not have any expectations.
As the old saying goes, ‘hope for the best but prepare for the worst’!
A simple jingle to help you get about your day. In every circumstance and situation think – ‘what would the greatest possible outcome be?’ And voila, you have just manifested it. But what about if there could be something even greater for you later down the line that you didn’t even realize could be possible? A lot of the time, this is the case, and sometimes to make way for this – the worst possible outcome could surface. Therefore, it is crucial to managing your own expectations for all scenarios. Make sure you are flexible in your approach to the task at hand, try to stay open-minded, and above all, be prepared for your plans to change.
And when all else fails, move on to number five.
An extract from one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz:
“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”
By making confident choices in life you will always be happy with the result because you did your best.
You did what you chose to be the right decision at that time. And that’s all you can ask of yourself.
A lot of the time our worries over problems are exactly that, just worries. They very rarely ever eventuate, and more often, cause more harm than good.
It is important to identify with your concerns as being just thoughts. Simply an idea in your head that you have the power to control.
The best way to live with uncertainty is to manage expectations, always do your best, and keep your mind open to new possibilities.
Think positively and allow your life to continue to evolve the way it is meant to.
Remember that everything that is happening to you is happening for the greater good, so just sit back, relax and enjoy the rollercoaster of this thing we call life.
Love, Phoebe
ps. you might enjoy my book Align with Soul, it’s full of helpful practices, tools, and resources that can help you in times of uncertainty.
