I’ve spent many years wondering when I would meet the love of my life.
I’ve manifested like a maniac and meditated on most full moons.
I’ve overpaid psychics, on self-help books, on new outfits. And wasted far too much precious time on boring dates.
And yet here I was, entering my thirties, still single. Still, asking the same question that I had been asking for the last ten years or so – WHERE ARE YOU, FUTURE HUSBAND?!
Now, don’t get me wrong . . . I wasn’t desperate by any means. I loved my life and I wouldn’t change being single in my 20s for anything! But come 30, and well, it’s easy to start doubting yourself.
And yes I knew what the secret answer to finding your lifelong partner was . . .
Love yourself completely first and then, you will meet your true love.
But where was the manual to learn how to love myself?
And how am I meant to know if I did in fact love myself?
And so the journey of self-discovery began . . .
I learned what it meant to be true to MYself, MY goals, MY passions, MY dreams.
Everything that I did, I did it for MY greater good.
I fed my mind with wisdom, my body with food for the soul, and I dove deeply into nature at every opportunity that presented itself to me.
I surrounded myself with the right kind of people, the right kind of environments.
And I learned how empowering it was to say no to the things that I didn’t want to do.
I was learning not to question my intuition, instead, I was listening to it.
And from spending my time truly getting to know myself, I had successfully maintained a new level of happiness.
One that I didn’t even know could have existed before.
But above all, my desire to find a life partner diminished, completely.
And of course when I least expected it, that’s when I met him.
But still, I couldn’t help but wonder . . .
Why had it taken me this long to learn how to love myself?
I’d spent 12 years of my life in school being educated, why wasn’t I taught how to love myself every single day of those?
And then I began to fantasize about all the drama that might have disappeared if we had all learned about the real-life lessons and the importance of living consciously, and harmoniously together.
Imagine what the world would be like if we were taught the right kind of self-love? And how to respect ourselves just as much as those around us?
Maybe if we did I wouldn’t have known 8 people who committed suicide. Or maybe my friend wouldn’t have spent most of her adolescence in hospital battling anorexia.
Maybe my other friend wouldn’t think that it’s okay to be in an abusive relationship because she thinks verbal abuse isn’t as bad as physical abuse. And maybe, just maybe those kids who were teased at school for being a geek or a freak wouldn’t have hated waking up every single day of their school life.
Yep, I think adulthood would have been a lot easier if we were taught how to love ourselves.
But instead, it took me a long time to figure this lesson out. And I don’t really want the younger generation to make that same mistake. So I decided to write books on this topic.
The first one is called Lost Nowhere. It’s a fantasy book about a girl who travels to an enchanted world, but between you and me, it’s camouflaged inside a self-help book for our inner child. And then I wrote a sequel to that called Lost Now Here.
I would also like to point you towards my bestselling book- Daily Rituals, which I created for an everyday self-love check-in with affirmations.
And my ‘life manual’ book: Align with Soul. This book really includes all of the most important self-love rituals, lessons, and healing tools so you can navigate towards loving yourself.
But I must say that the underlying theme in all of my books is self-love.
I wrote all my books because I was sick of hearing about mental health issues that stemmed mostly from childhood and continued to disturb us well into our adult years.
Because I was tired of not feeling good enough, and spending too much time caring what others thought (thinking there was something wrong with me for not being married by age 30).
And I wrote it because I was so bored of competing with the fake person next to me.
Nope, I don’t want anyone else to make the same mistakes that I did. I hope that by spreading my message that it encourages everyone to learn how to love themselves, no matter what age, race, gender, or social status. Loving ourselves is important for everyone.
Because I believe that we can change the world and that it starts with us and ends with them.
Love, Phoebe
ps: If you would like to do a quick self-love meditation you might enjoy the one below.
