Last night I did something I have never done before.
I was giving a 1:1 sound and reiki session to a client who was healing from chronic pain.
Before every session, I always ask spirit to be shown what to do. I close my eyes, and I am shown through a language of symbols that’s grown between us over the years. Usually, the answer comes as images or as a place in the body that is calling louder than the rest.
But last night, nothing came.
I asked again, searching for a place in her body, waiting for the familiar pull toward an answer. But instead of an answer, I heard the words “No. Just focus on healing.”
There is always a moment in every session where I stop leading and start listening, but this was different. Here I was being told, quite plainly, that the blueprint I usually reach for was not available to me. That my usual way of knowing was not the way through this time.
I stopped trying and just started, letting my hands and the bowls do what they knew how to do, and I trusted that whatever needed to happen would happen without me needing to understand it first.
And it was some of the clearest work I have ever channelled.
White light fell from the cosmos like rainfall, washing away the pain, soothing the inflammation, and transforming the cells to heal. Then golden light poured down, forming a full outline of light like a halo cast around her whole body, and I could see the sound frequencies echo within it, over and over, like waves moving through her. A shadow lifted slowly, attached only at the base. The sound vibration within her frame was too powerful, the shadow didn’t belong there. It fed off darkness and misery. The vibration and light were too pure. After several minutes, it drifted slowly away, watching us from afar. And then a whole line of healers, ancient ones, appeared before me, they were waiting for their turn to help. I saw her healed. Standing under water, laughing, healthy again.
None of it came from my training. All of it came from staying and trusting myself.
I think this is the part of the work that never gets talked about enough. We assume the healer always knows the way in. That there is a technique, a sequence, a chakra chart to follow, and if you know it well enough, you will always have the answer. But some nights the answer is that you do not get to know. You get to trust instead.
She fell asleep before the session ended. She slept through the night for the first time in a long time.
I keep thinking about the no long after I left. How uncomfortable it was in the moment, searching for something familiar and finding it withheld. And how much came through once I stopped searching and just stayed.
There is a version of every healer who only works when she can see the whole picture. And there is another version who can hold someone even in the dark, without needing to understand it first.
I met her last night.
If this is something you want to sit with a little longer, I’ve written a free guide on learning to trust your own intuition, you can find it here.
Love, Phoebe
